From the point of view of family constellations, we receive fears, negative beliefs and blockages unconsciously from our ancestors. Here I share an exercise with you:

Ask yourself what is your worst fear?

And every time you give yourself an answer, go deeper and deeper.

My process:

What is your worst fear?

Being poor. (I clarify that I have never suffered from financial deprivation but that fear arose immediately when I was asked the question.)

What is the worst that can happen to you if what you fear most happens? (Write everything that comes to mind.)

That I can’t afford my basic needs and that I have to depend on my family; that people around me look down on me; that my family and I blame me for making bad decisions; that I feel ashamed and disappointed in myself.

What would be the most terrible thing about this?

Feeling that I failed, that I wasted my life; that I am a burden to others; I would feel incapable, a failure.

The next step is to think about who in your family might have felt this way.

Two relatives with whom I always identified came to mind. They were kind, sensitive and art lovers or artists themselves. They, despite being intelligent and talented, did not achieve economic autonomy in their mature age.

When I went a step further back I thought about my maternal grandfather whom I never met. I knew that he had great difficulty supporting his family despite being, according to my family, an intelligent and capable man. 

This whole process led me to realize that by feeling identified with them, I had unconsciously made their fears my own. 

The reason why fears or patterns are passed on to a certain member is that the family system does not allow gaps: If something was not resolved in its time, that conflict is transmitted to another member of the next generation. 

I decided to have a family constellation to clear that fear. I invited the family members with whom I shared it. I honored them and asked them to release me from the loyalty I had towards them. In this way I not only felt free but I was able to receive their blessings, their strength and their support.

This is in short what we do in a constellation. Become aware of where the conflict comes from, we let go of loyalty and recognize that that fear or pain was not ours after all and that we can let it go without ceasing to belong to the family system.

Now the question for you is: What is your worst fear?